You can read Part 1 of my story here
Regrets.
This was one of the lowest moments of my life. It was during this time that I started living alone, which meant everything, food, bills, etc, was now on me. And I had just quit my job with only around $200 in savings. Within a few weeks, that money was gone. I had no money, no job, and I was lonely most of the time, feeling the weight of depression.
The only thing I could thank God for was the faith and hope He gave me. For reasons I can’t fully explain, I had faith in myself. Even when I didn’t know what I was doing, I held on to this unshakable belief that sooner or later, things would get better.
Crefati, the web services agency I had dreamed of for years, was still just an idea. I quit my job hoping it would become my full-time gig, but the reality hit hard. I lacked experience, I had no capital, at times, even buying enough internet data was a challenge. I didn’t know how to get clients, and I had no clear direction. It felt like life was throwing me into the streets, teaching me the hard way what it really meant to start from scratch.
Relationships aren’t for the weak
Around this time, I also started dating, the woman I truly love, my ride or die. I had known her for a while, and she was, and still is, my closest friend. During my lowest moments, she was right there with me. I had nothing, no clear future, no money, nothing to my name, but despite all that, she stayed by my side. She deserves a crown for that.
However, relationships aren’t for the weak, and I can admit, I was weak. I remember being mad at her for absolutely no valid reason. We fought a lot. I was overly sensitive to the smallest things because deep down, I knew I had no money and was at my lowest. The only way I felt I could regain a sense of control or feel like a man was by raising my voice. But I was wrong.
I thank God every day for this woman. She’s been by my side through everything, and I can’t imagine losing her. But when you’re at your lowest, it’s hard to feel love. It felt like people were mocking me, and I craved more attention from her because I had nothing else to prove. The only way I knew to respond was with arrogance, anger, and frustration. But I know now, I was wrong.
This woman gave me so much support. There were times when I had absolutely nothing to eat, and she was there, giving me food, money, love, attention, company, and her time. She sacrificed a lot just to be with me.
During this difficult period, my mother also helped me, even though she didn’t fully understand what I was going through. Whenever I needed money and asked her, she always came through. Deep down, I could sense that she probably thought I was being reckless. She might have been wondering, What’s wrong with my son? He’s bright, had a good job, and could easily find another, but he’s chosen to do nothing? No one truly understood what I was doing, except for my girlfriend.
More Regrets
I began regretting my decision to quit the job. Even though I hated it, it paid my bills. Almost every night, I had nightmares about the decision I made. I dreamed of being back in the classroom with my students, laughing with them, and working alongside my coworkers. These nightmares made everything worse. I would wake up each morning, filled with more and more regret.
In some dreams, I even saw the teacher who had hired me, telling me to come back and teach again. It was a terrible feeling. Every morning, I faced the same haunting question: What have I done?
I realized that Crefati wasn’t paying my bills, and I needed to find something else. So, I decided to give up on Crefati and start a tuition center, offering lessons to pre-form one students and secondary students. But even giving up failed me. I didn’t get a single student for over three weeks. Frustrated and lost, I decided to return to my Crefati dream. Still, nothing was working. Yet, despite everything, I held on to hope, believing that one day things would get better.
I tried all kinds of petty jobs and applied to countless positions, but nothing seemed to work. I was stuck with my Crefati dream, as if I couldn’t see myself doing anything else. I hated the idea of being employed, but that hate wasn’t going to pay my bills.
A few months later, I began to get some clients who were interested in my web development services. That, at least, fueled my hope that I could survive. Sometimes I had one client a month, paying less than what I used to make as a teacher. Other months, I had no clients at all. Occasionally, I would get two clients. It was a rough journey, with no guarantee that I’d make it through the month financially secure.
I think that’s what scares a lot of people. When you’re employed, you don’t have to worry about money; you know that at the end of the month, you’ll get paid. But for me, it was different. If I had zero clients, that meant I made zero dollars that month.
I kept dreaming of the day when I’d land a client who would pay me more than what I used to make as a teacher in a month. That dream came true almost a year later. It took me nearly a year to charge one client the same amount I used to make teaching. This journey taught me that experience is truly the best teacher, the more experience you gain, the more valuable you become.
God is good
Experience is everything. I went from charging for web development services what I used to make as a teacher, to now having projects where I charge five times that amount per client in a single month. But it wasn’t easy at all. The journey is still rough. If you decide to quit your job today, I’ll tell you this, the road will never be smooth. Why? Because you’re on your own. Everything depends on you. If you don’t get a client, that means no money, no salary. How will you survive?
Sometimes, when I think about where I came from, back when Crefati was just an idea, I thank God for bringing me this far. I thank Him because through all the struggles, I held on to my dream and worked to make it a reality. Today, Crefati is a known agency in Tanzania, specializing in web design, development, hosting, web security, and more. We’ve worked with over 100 clients from various industries and from different parts of the world, not just Tanzania. We’ve served tourism companies, clearing and forwarding companies, manufacturers, schools, investment firms, eCommerce brands, and many more. We’ve had clients from London, Denver, Pennsylvania, and all over Tanzania. God has been so good.
Crefati may not yet be where I want it to be, but when I look back at how far we’ve come, I see it’s nothing short of a miracle. After so much suffering and hardship, quitting my job turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.
Now, let me talk to you. If you’re working on your dream right now, thank God and never give up. Just hold on to it until you make it the way you want it to be. If you truly believe that your dream is what you want to do for the rest of your life, fight for it. Make sacrifices. Do what others are not willing to do, but take calculated risks. Don’t be reckless like I was.
May God help us and give us the strength to never give up on our dreams.
